The hardest words I ever had to say...

Finding out your child has cancer (as you can imagine) is one of the most devastating experiences a parent can go through.  It is hard to put into words what I felt that night in a cold, dark E.R.  I felt helpless, alone, and terrified.  I didn't want to, but I couldn't help but think about the worst case scenarios.  You can read about that night on my personal blog here.  Although my husband and I were going through pure hell, Cami was oblivious and had no idea what cancer meant.  Once we found out more about Cami's diagnosis we grew optimistic that after the battle of a lifetime she would heal and live a normal life again, but it was time to tell her what was in store for her.  As a mother, this was the hardest moment for me.  I could take hearing the bad news, having the heartache, but not my little 4 year old daughter.  She shouldn't have to know about these things at such a young age.  We thought long and hard about how to tell Cami that she would be getting sick, pretty much live at the hospital (or cooped up in her house) and that she would be losing her precious princess hair.  So, 2 days after she was diagnosed we cleared out all the family, all the nurses and all the Doctors and we sat down to tell Cami about her battle that was to come.  She had lots of questions about the medical things, but the hardest part for her was her hair.  Her precious hair that she NEVER wanted to cut (because she was growing it out to be like Belle's) would soon be gone.  She was heartbroken and she didn't understand why.  It was the worst feeling in the world to be that out of control when your daughter is already going through such physical pain, to add to it emotional pain is just devastating.  After spending some time with Cami and trying to talk things through with her we brought in a child phycologist.  His name was Mike and he was EXCELLENT with Cami.  He brought books about little girls losing their hair, he talked to her about her feelings and he gave us some really great tips on how to help her get through the emotional part of losing her hair.  He suggested getting pictures taken before her hair fell out (so she could have something to look back on and mourn when it was gone).  I am so glad we did this, Cami STILL looks back on these pictures and remembers her long hair and dreams about it one day growing that long again.  Here is one of the photo's we had taken:

You can read my original post about these photo's here.

The other thing that Mike suggested was to "play it out".  He suggested we use the "play it out" method to help heal Cami emotionally for many of the things she would be faced with over her 2 1/2 year battle with leukemia.  He said that kids can deal with their emotions and tell us how they are feeling about what they are going through by acting them out, so we played pretend that her froggy was sick and lost his hair, then it was Barbie, then My Little Pony, and a baby doll.  We played out every scenario and it HELPED!  After a few days of playing we realized that Cami was feeling better about losing her hair, and she was even looking on the bright side.  I'll never forget the joy I felt when she said "at least my little brother wont be able to pull my hair anymore!"  We ended up shaving Cami's hair almost 1 month after she was diagnosed, it was falling everywhere (getting in her food, itching her, etc.) she decided she wanted to make it a party, so that's what we did (you can read about it here).  Here are a few pictures of that day...

Cami wanted to shave her Daddy's hair first...

Then it was his turn (Pat said this was one of the hardest thing's he's ever had to do).

I was a wreck...

I'm so grateful for this picture.. just look at that smile on our brave girls face!  It was Mommy who needed the comforting, not her... she is (and always will be) so much braver than me... my little hero!

So... the reason I am telling you guys all of this is because we have an AMAZING vendor who wants to make this process easier on these cancer families.  Jill and Blythe with Swanky Janes creates gorgeous hand-made dolls.  She has created a custom doll for our cancer cuties so they can "play-it-out" and deal with their emotions through play.  Not only did she donate one of her products (as each of our vendors do) to our featured cancer cutie Millie, she is going to make a custom doll for EVERY child we feature this next year!  Tears stream down my face as I type this.  I am so grateful for Swanky Janes, they are a vendor who truly understand our mission to help these kids and they are doing everything in their power to help us. 

Swanky Janes is being featured on P.S I Adore You and has some beautifully hand-crafted dolls for your little ones too!

Check out Millie's darling doll they created to look just like her:

Happy Birthday to Whitney!

We couldn't let the day get by without wishing Whitney a happy birthday! Whit- we hope your day has been perfect! We love you! XOXO

Happy Birthday Ashley (and a giveaway)!

I didn't get this posted yesterday, but I wanted to wish Ashley a Happy Happy Birthday!  Ash is not only gorgeous on the outside, but she is a fabulous mother, friend and business partner.   
We love you Ash!

Meet Ashley and her adorable little family.

We wanted to celebrate Ashley's birthday in a big way, so we are giving away THREE surprise gift boxes that will be FILLED with all our favorite finds.  
How fun would it be to win one of these for Christmas!?!

--PS We ADORE you!  

Meet The Flamm Family

I am so excited to introduce you to our very first featured family The Flamms.  Their little girl, Millie, was the first cancer friend that we met after Cami was diagnosed.  They were so supportive while we went through our treatments together.  Below is their story written by my dear friend, Amanda (Millie's amazing mother).  

On August 28, 2009 I delivered my second child by emergency C-section. He arrived into this world 11 weeks too soon. Thankfully Austin was strong. He weighed a whopping 4 lbs 8 oz. 

Austin spent a month in the NICU, a month I will never forget. A month that some days I didn’t think I could physically or emotionally make it through. It was difficult to leave my brand new, tiny, helpless baby in a cold hospital. Of course I knew he was in good hands, but I was his mother. The problem was I needed to be the mother of Millie, my 4 year old daughter as well. She seemed to be struggling with the adjustment of sharing my time. It had just been Millie and I at home for years. We were and are best friends.

Luckily Austin was a fighter and he was able to get out of that dreaded hospital 31 days after his birth. It was amazing to feel like I had passed the most difficult trial in my life, but I was so wrong. I had no idea as I held my little man with such pride that a horrible beast had taken hold of my daughter while I wasn’t looking.

My sweet Millie hadn’t been herself the first few months of being a new sister. She tried to be happy but she just wasn't. She was whiny and tired all the time. Some days she would cry for no reason. I knew something was wrong. 

On December 17, 2009, Millie, my stunningly beautiful, smart, perfect, little girl was diagnosed  with cancer.


Once we knew what Amelia had it was painfully obvious to me. I should have seen it. She had been extremely pale, had leg pain, unexplainable fevers, and was exhausted all the time .

I was a wreck with the traumatic arrive of my son, but if Austin hadn’t come early I would have had a brand new baby right when she got diagnosed.  He knew what was coming for our family and he prepared us, he was and is “my sunshine.”  Austin was there to support all of us in a battle that none of us could have handled one single day sooner then it came.

On the very day of Millie’s diagnosis Austin was at Primary Children’s Hospital as well. He had a double hernia surgery the week before and was there for his follow-up appointment to make sure everything looked good. Thankfully, it did. The day Austin was officially healthy was the day our world crumbled. 

Amelia continued to get daily doses of chemotherapy through the start of February 2012. She fought for over 2 years. Unfortunately, 3 days after the celebration of Millie conquering her cancer we found out that she had already relapsed. Hearing "It's Back" was earth shattering.  There was no air in the room and I couldn't breath. Nothing can prepare you for it. Nothing. The most difficult  part was telling Millie that her battle wasn't over. It had only begun and it was about to get worse. Amelia had to endure 7 more months of extremely, intense chemotherapy her body hadn't seen before, along with 8 doses of full body radiation . This was all followed by a bone marrow transplant on June 22, 2012.  After all of that Amelia still has a 40% chance of her cancer coming back. A fact that as a mother I am constantly aware of. I try my hardest to live in the moment, but the fear of "what if" is always in the back of my mind. 

Millie is still in recovery from transplant and thankfully she is doing incredibly well. She is a shining star and because of her amazing attitude she has been able to prove to everyone who knows her that staying positive does make a difference. Miss Millie has become infamous because of it. I get asked all the time if I'm Millie's mom. 

Her giggle is contagious, her whistle is loud, her dancing is outrageous, and her imagination is never ending. She is a star. Amelia has changed how I see the world and I am grateful to her and will be for the rest of my life. Millie has conquered cancer twice,  she can move mountains, she can do anything. 

Cute Amanda posted this to our Instagram...
"The donations is a huge surprise to me and we are so grateful, but we have been so blessed that we will be choosing another family in need this holiday season to donate any funds that come in.  Please donate and help us surprise someone else in need.  Tis the season."

Leave it to the Flamms to think of others and spread the love this time of year.  My heart is overflowing from all the support we have been given and now to have this family want to pay it forward, it may sound cheesy, but it just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy doesn't it?  

Why childhood cancer?

(Chelsea and Cami)

Childhood cancer is so near and dear to my heart.  It is something I experienced and lived through in my own life.  On Saturday, July 10th 2010 my 4 year old daughter, Cami was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (or ALL).  That same day Cami was taken into surgery for a portacath placement, a spinal tap, bone marrow aspiration and her first chemotherapy all within 8 hours of her diagnosis.  After a week in the hospital Cami was sent home with dozens of prescriptions, schedules, chemo dates and tubes hanging from her chest. You can read about Cami's diagnosis here.  

 Cami has always been a very vivacious, spunky girl.  She has a great sense of humor and an optimistic zest for life that is contagious.   Cami is extremly outgoing and easily makes friends wherever she goes.  She is funny and has a great sense of humor, and even during the difficult times she always had a smile.  She is beautiful and bright and everyone that meets her just seems to adore her!  One of the drugs Cami was put on that first month changed EVERYTHING!  Cami had to take steroids and thats when she went into zombie mode.  She wasn't even the same little girl we once knew.  She would just stare off into space, she was constantly hungry and craving random things (lots of cheese and pickles), and she was super grumpy (I mean non-stop tantrums, kicking and screaming).  It was terrible.  Throughout her treatment, Cami had to go on steroids once a month for 5 days and each and every month it was pure hell while she was on those steroids.  

In the last two and a half years, Cami has lost her hair, been poked by thousands of needles, has learned the art of swallowing handfuls of pills each day and has had to live with the many side effects associated with her treatment.  This courageous seven year old has been forced to grow up way too fast but handled this disease with strength and her normal positive attitude.   Cami's treatment plan lasted approximately 2 years and 3 months and we are happy to report that she just finished treatment last month and is now CANCER FREE!!  Cami captured the hearts of all her caregivers at Primary Children's Hospital along with countless others.  She touched hearts daily as she fought her battle with a smile.  We know Cami was picked by God to change peoples lives and that is exactly what she is doing!

(Little Miss Cami right after getting her final dose of chemotherapy last month)

Cami tells her story better than I do.  Watch below to see what I mean. 

 Nobody ever wants to hear their child has cancer, but through this experience we have grown as a family, learned whats important in life and have become lifelong advocates of childhood cancer.  We have met so many wonderful, beautiful people through our cancer journey.  We love these families and unfortunately some of their stories didn't turn out as well as Cami's.  My family and I are dedicated to support, help and give love to these families.  

The Carver family at the 2011 CureSearch walk

Each of these kids has some form of cancer.  Each of them have their own story and each of them DESERVE to be heard....
this is why we do what we do!

SLC Cancer kids group 2012

P.S. Pairings

What is a P.S. Pairing?

At P.S. I Adore You it is important to us that you look and FEEL great. We know that keeping up with style and fashion can be overwhelming at times so we have created P.S. Pairings to make things a little easier on you. These are stylized products picked especially to compliment each other. They have our P.S I Adore you stamp of approval so you can feel confident when you put them together and wear them out.

The Girls Behind P.S. I Adore You

We wish we had a great story to tell about how P.S. I Adore You came about, but it’s simple really. We are busy moms who love to find great deals on anything and everything.  We also love finding those hidden treasures at our local farmers markets and boutiques.  We wanted to find a way to showcase those adorable one of a kind items all while getting a great deal!  Oh, and last but not least... We needed a way to spread the word about childhood cancer and raise awareness for these kids that are oh so close to our hearts. 

The Gals of P.S. I Adore You..

Ashley is our style guru. You will never see Ashley not looking absolutely adorable.  Ashley loves shopping for her two girls who are 4 and 1. These girls are just like their mommy and always look styled to the max.  Ashley loves to dance and was a Utah Jazz dancer for 4 years. Through the Utah Jazz she would do various appearances. Her all time favorite was visiting the little patients at Primary Children’s Hospital. Those kids smiles left a lasting imprint on her heart and from that moment on she knew she wanted to give back in her life. Ashley loves dancing, but she especially loves watching her little  girls bust a move and share her same passion for dance.  Her family is her number one priority, she’d do anything for them. Ashley can’t function without her morning coffee, and loves a good salad from her hubby’s restaurant, Plates and Palates.  

Chelsea found her love of fashion when she began working at Anthropologie during college. She loved the funky style and different dimensions that Anthro brought into the fitting room. She soon moved on to Nordstrom where she learned about more timeless, classic styles. One thing Chelsea found while working at both high fashion stores is how quickly things go on sale, after watching new items come into the stores and quickly marking them down she learned to shop the sale racks and to this day Chelsea has a difficult time buying full priced merchandise. This is why she loved the idea of a daily deal site! Chelsea can’t resist a good book and a hot bubble bath, she loves almost any baked good, and her and her hubby are movie addicts.  Chelsea is also a mom of 7 year old Cami and 4 year old Caden, her kids are her world. Chelsea learned the hard way that life can change in an instant.  Her daughter, Cami was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia on July 10, 2010 and after over 2 years of continuous chemotherapy Cami is now CANCER FREE!  Little Caden was only one when his sister was diagnosed and he was such a little trooper for those 2 years.  Cami got loads of gift, attention and time with her parents, but little Caden was just worried about his sister, never about himself. Now that Cami is off treatment, Chelsea’s family loves to take their yearly trips to DisneyLand, long walks with their golden retriever Baylee, and they never miss the latest Pixar movie (with a large popcorn of course).  

Whitney is a pro at throwing an amazing party, she styles her kids birthday parties and doesn’t miss a detail. She loves all the darling paper goods and stocks up every time she finds a good deal. Her go-to clothing stores are J Crew, Nordstrom and Anthropologie. Whitney loves to shop and she’s excited about finding you the best deals possible on handpicked accessories, home decor and party goods. Her and her husband also love to travel and visit new exotic locations. She loves Italian food and can’t resist a good goat cheese!! Whitney and her husband adopted their two beautiful children. Her darling daughter, is 3 and her handsome little man is 1.  Whitney spent a few months volunteering at Orphanages in Ecuador and through that experience she gained a passion for giving back. Through her adoption process she learned to never take a moment with her kids for granted.

-P.S. We Adore You